Sunday, September 29, 2013

13 months and a new baby!

Busy. That's the word that best describes day-to-day life around here these days. Two months ago we got a call that went a little something like this "We have a one year old that needs a place to stay, will you take her?". Um, yes.


Has it been all fun and games? I wish I could say so, but honestly most days I just try to make it through to the end of the day in one piece. If there is anything that I've learned it's how much room I still have to grow in so many areas. I always thought I was a patient person until I had a baby. And then another one. It is a challenge to parent an emotionally fragile child when there is little time to recuperate. The only way I'm able to do it is by relying on God's strength and patience and remembering how deeply I'm loved.  (and by drinking coffee)

But is there joy too? Of course!

And even at the end of a hard day I still wouldn't trade it for anything. It's not about whether it's hard or easy for me. Because it's hard. It's really hard. I have a daughter that I have raised since birth. A daughter who snuggles on me thinking I'm her mama. A daughter who I will someday watch drive away in a car and my last glimpse of her will be her face watching me through the window of that car as it drives away. I have another child who has been torn away from everything she has ever known. Who wakes up screaming just wanting to hear my voice to know that I haven't disappeared. She has been so brave, but I can tell that she is just grasping for something that she can control because everything else is out of her control.
So is it hard, yes. But is that a reason not to do it? No.
It's about loving children unconditionally because God loves me. So I can and do choose to also give my life to loving others even when it isn't easy or convenient to do.

But back to that joy part. When no one is biting anyone (it's not me doing the biting if you were curious) or screaming and flailing on the ground (again not usually me) life is...manageable... But there are also these moments where I feel so full of life and such a deep inner joy and it's in those moments that I know I have the best job in the world. I hang on to those moments so I can remember them during the difficult moments. I have so much more wealth in life than I could ever deserve! I have a loving and personal God, a loving husband who is my perfect and true match, I have a house (with running water, heat, and more room than we need), I've never worried about having enough food, I'm in good health, I have a family that loves me, and I have two perfect babies that I get to love as my job. My job is to love babies. How great is that?! It really is my dream job. I have so much I'm thankful for.

Right now I'm thankful for my babes.

Baby Bear is starting to walk by herself. She will take about 10 steps by herself and is getting more adventurous by the day. She has just very recently started a word explosion. Last week she could say a few words. Now she can say: bear, bean, dog, bread, dada, baby, bye-bye, hi, all done, ball, book, bird, walk, up, down, and she'll try to imitate just about any word if you ask her to. I think she is starting to put two words together at 13 months. I'm sure I've heard her say "buh-bye da" twice now when we wave goodbye to Justin in the mornings. Today she said "hi gah" when I told her to say hi to grandma. I'll have to start listening more closely. She has been putting two signs together for quite some time but this is the first we're hearing the words so it's exciting! Tonight she also correctly identified the letter 'z' on the first try. What a smart baby! She can point to her belly, head/hair, nose, and my eyebrows. She has been doing the animal sound for sheep for a while and just today she started saying "mboo" for cow and also trying to make an elephant noise. So cute! Birds are her favorite things. She laughs pretty hysterically when we see them at the park. I didn't know she could laugh like that! She also thinks chickens are the cool thing. She spent 10 minutes smiling and waving and giggling at a chicken statue in a restaurant. She also likes to only read (and lick) the touch and feel pages with the chickens in both her touch and feel books. What a funny little thing. The other day she matched two roosters in a matching book.

And what about that new baby? Curly Top is 18 months old. She is a clever and happy little baby. She loves to snuggle and be the center of attention. She loves to help Baby Bear. She feeds her her cup, chases her, tickles her, hugs her, kisses her, holds her arms out and says 'up?', holds her hand, brings her toys, puts cheerios in her mouth, she pets her and pats her, and just generally loves her. Until Baby Bear has a toy she wants or my attention. Then...to bad for you Baby Bear! She is doing remarkable for being completely uprooted. Her language has come a long way in the two months we're had her. She picked up a lot of baby signs just from watching Baby. She used to throw tantrums about twice an hour but now it's only about twice a day. She is doing remarkably well learning to wait her turn and share. Better than most children her age I'd say! She's also learned that if Baby has something she wants that she can bring a new toy to Baby so that Baby will drop the desired toy and go after the new toy! Talk about smart!

The end.

Also, we don't have any idea how long we'll have curly top. One more week? 10 more months? Who knows. Not us. Not the caseworkers.
Baby Bear has another court date in October. Since she hasn't started unsupervised visits yet in this period we're assuming that she'll be with us for another three months after her October court date. But that is just an guess not a fact.